Welcome Second Trimester!

Out of the first looong (every day felt like a week) 3 months and full storm in to the second trimester. Today’s clinic visit was a relief, on more than one account.

First of all, it feels fantastic to have completed this milestone, as I see it. The first one was really making it out of the embryo stage, and now the second trimester. I am starting to enjoy the pregnancy a little bit more and I can feel my worries subsiding.

Second, I can regain normal physical activity. Best news ever! I can finally work out again. Not like I am used to, but at least 20 minutes a day. A little bit of walking, some yoga and water aerobics. Easy low impact stuff. I am seriously psyched. Looking forward to get my body moving and get back to feeling good and sleeping well. My life is just not the same without the movements. And, I can be intimate with hubby again! Life is back to normal.

Third good news, doc said I can travel. Like fly. Far. To see my family and friends this summer. I’m in ecstasy. Need to get my dose of European air and flare to remain sane.

Fourth, got to listen to beans heartbeat again. Every time they listen to the heart, I think back to my first experience with a fetal doppler. It was my first miscarriage. I came in at 10 weeks, and they tried to find the heart. It sounded like space in there. Empty space. There was nothing, no life, no blood running through veins. Just weird quirks, kind of like I would imagine outer space would sound like. Now though, it is such a lovely experience, and it always brings tears to my eyes. All the blood flowing, the liveliness and the little strong heart. It’s filled with life and I think it is one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard.

*doing a happy dance while crying tears of joy*

Doc also asked if I wanted her to schedule T-H-E ultrasound before my next appointment or if I wanted to wait. I said I can wait (surprisingly!). In the meantime I volunteered to give up some of my blood again for the second part of the downs syndrome screening.  Doc also told me all about the lovely shot I will be getting in my butt (!!!) week 28. Not looking forward to it, but I understand it is extremely important. Especially with my history. The joy of being RH-…. anything for you bean ❤

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My current giant pet-peeve

Was it planned?

Seems to be the first words that pop out of most peoples mouths. Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn’t. Is it really ANY of your business?  Me telling you I am pregnant is already sharing a wealth of information about my personal life, and that should be enough. Did I know what we were doing when we decided to skip the condom? Yes, of course. I know how babies are made.

Or. Well, funny you would ask. The condom broke and this just happened.

What is it that people  want to know by asking that? And why do they think they have the right to know?

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying. If you go for it, you go for it. If you never tried, you never know if you could have done it or not. Better to try and fail. Failure doesn’t have to be something bad, but experiences we learn from and the satisfaction we get from knowing we’re living life and going for it- no matter what.

Telling the boss

The moment I have been dreading for a while finally came this morning. Tell the boss I’m preggers. Well, I didn’t really tell the boss… but I sat down to talk to the sales manager this morning, since both the boss-boss and my supervisor is a man. Felt more comfortable with a woman that has 4 kids and kind of know what I am going through.

So… I awkwardly asked if I could talk to her and sat down in her office. She said “are you quitting”. I said no, no I’m pregnant. She jumped up gave me a big hug and said it was wonderful news. 

PHEW. So much for being nervous about that… And we are announcing it to the rest of the office in a meeting in 5 minutes… it feels good though, I feel like a part of the office family 🙂

Poor little bean

Went to the yarn store with mil and aunt-in-law this morning. They are both avid knitters and are in baby-knitting mode. I came with to pick colors I like. Oh, this poor baby.

Until bean is old enough to pick his/her own clothes, bean will be dressed in bright mismatched colors. People will very likely think s/he is raised by clowns… But I will be smiling. 🙂

Sex during pregnancy- is it safe? [cartoon]

Sex during pregnancy cartoon

13 weeks pregnancy symptoms

13 weeks. Last week of the first trimester and the risk of miscarriage is now much lower than earlier in pregnancy. Phew. *wiping sweat off forehead*

I read somewhere, of all places I am reading things I just can’t recall which one…, that if a miscarriage happens in the first 12 weeks it is because of a development issue in the fetus, and it is natures way of wiping out something that would not have been able to make it out in the world. If a miscarriage happens in the second trimester, they say it is usually due to an incompetent uterus/cervix/what have you. Something inside the mother is not optimal for the developing child. Now I just put full trust in my body, knowing it will do its best.

Apparently there is supposed to be a libido lift around this time when first trimester symptoms subside. I think my libido is in the same state it has been the past few months. Frustrated. Since my past miscarriages and my spotting during week 6-9 I’ve been sentenced a life in solitude… we really haven’t done it since we conceived. A really long time. Hopefully the doc says I’m good to go after my next appointment. But I still don’t know… might just be too scared.

And then we have the usual suspects: breast tenderness, heartburn/indigestion, food cravings/aversions, constipation… the things we endure for our little ones!

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

I am going to extend the recent past to a couple of years back. I think the most alive I have ever felt is during my skydive. It wasn’t a cool skydive from super high up with a long free fall (although I would love that). But I walked out on the plane wing, on my own, 1,000s of feet up and let go. I didn’t have to worry about pulling the parachute because I was on a line and it pulled itself. But I never felt so alive as when I was letting go of that plane, and when I was hanging in the air. Such an amazing feeling. The adrenaline, the joy, the rush. I’m an adrenaline junkie in disguise.

And the verdict is…

… Smiley face! And a whole bunch of happy tears.

What a relief to see our little bean kicking around. It was beautiful, perfect and adorable. Kicking and squirming. And a heartbeat.

Bean is according to this scan 13 weeks and 2 days today. But they say it can vary +-7 days at this stage. 7 cm long and a heartbeat of 155. And the risk for Downs and Trisonomy 18 are extremely minimal. The doc said my values were unseen of. About 1 in 100,000 chance on both so they don’t need to see me again for this pregnancy! That was so nice to hear.

All this time, every doc has been telling me that my values are great, my blood is great and my health is tip-top. But I still cut two pregnancies short… maybe my body needed practice. Practice makes perfect and perfection takes time. None of that really matters though. As soon as I saw that heartbeat and  the tiny tiny human in my belly I was weightless in outer space. Ultimate peace.

Can’t believe I did not want to go. Or I can. I peed at least 3 times at the docs (we were there for 30 min) out of nervousness and my heartbeat was through the roof.

But now, peace of mind. Finally. At least for a little while.

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