I am finally back on track with my reading again and can start these book reviews I intended to get going on quite a while ago. :) There will be a lot of books about motherhood and parenting, quite a few baby books, and a few outliers. The ones that I really enjoyed and believe are a great resource will be labeled with the Must Read label, so they are easy to find. All others will be categorized in Book Reviews. Easy Peasy.
This book is called The Mama’s Boy Myth: Why Keeping Our Sons Close Makes Them Stronger written by Kate Stone Lombardi.
On the sleeve of the book it says “Mothers get the message early and often – push your sons away. Don’t baby them with too much cuddling and comforting. Don’t keep them emotionally bound to you. Back off, because boys need to learn to stand on their own. IT is as if there were an existing playbook – based on gender preconceptions dating back to Freud, Oedipus and beyond – that prescribes the way mothers and their sons should interact.”
Kate Stone Lombardi conducted interviews with a ton of mothers talking about their mother-son relationship. And most women said that the bond between them and their son was very strong, rewarding and real. They understood each other and were very close to each other. And most did not adhere to the masculine values of society that says a boy should become a man early on. He should not be comforted when hurt because he has to learn to be a man etc. etc.
This book is talking about how mothers go against these norms and raise their sons to be caring and compassionate human beings. How they give their sons the freedom to become more “feminine” and how that makes them better as people in the society as a whole.
An interesting and eye-opening book. Good food for thought.
We are definitely raising our son more like the mothers in the book. There is no tough manhood in our house, but a lot of love, kisses, comforting and individual spirituality. Basically we are not trying to form him to be one way or the other, but wait to see how he develops.
If you are interested in gender questions and/or parenting styles, it’s a must read. If you do go and read the book, please come back to leave me a comment and let me know what you thought about it.
I leave you with this thought: How do you raise your son(s)?